What If the Matrix Had Been Filmed in the Silent Era?

The Matrix as a silent film. Brilliant!

Twitter Ban of James L. Paris is a Myth

TheScroogeReport will not publish my comment refuting the myth that James Parish was suspended from Twitter because he tweeted about Rush Limbaugh. Read the truth here: The Truth about James L. Paris and ChristianChirp http://ff.im/-aYpJM

in reference to: Did Twitter ban user for “strange” Limbaugh activity? « TheScroogeReport (view on Google Sidewiki)

Now You Feel Safer

And tinsel is banned 12:00AM December 24 to 12:00NOON Decmber 26.

Convenience

Because after that fourth or fifth Bud Light, you are going to be running back here anyway.

(Photo credit: http://img691.yfrog.com/i/81002115.jpg/)

*  *  *  *  *  * *

What's different about PublicLens from almost all other photo humor sites? Nearly all of our material is first-hand. We spend hours searching actual camera phone photographs and post the funniest one's we find within hours of their upload. Most other sites recycle the same old pics. PublicLens, where the Funny is Fresh!

Thanks for the Warning!

(Photo credit: http://img442.yfrog.com/i/o22.jpg/)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
5. Was this project the result of the Stimulus Package?

This Is Not the Toilet You Were Looking For

Wait a minute...that's NOT the toilet?!?

Holy crap!!! (literally)

All these years I've been using that thing for the toilet. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so sorry, Mom, all my roommates. What must you have thought when you looked into....whatever that actually is.

I guess it's best I finally found out.

(Photo credit: http://img682.yfrog.com/i/yet.jpg/)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
5. So...um...somebody want to send me a picture of what IS a toilet?

Ulimtate Meta Venn Diagram

 Nothing says geek-funny like self-referential Venn diagrams.

(Photo credit: http://img402.yfrog.com/i/8xf.jpg/)

What sets PublicLens apart from almost all other funny photo sites? Nearly all our pictures are first-run. That is, we spend the time to cull through thousands of postings on camera phone picture sites like twitpic.com and yfrog.com to find the fresh funny. Most photo and video humor sites just recycle stuff they found on other similar sites. PublicLens: Our Funny is Fresh!

Quidditch for Muggles

Finally a competitive, outdoor sport for geeks. Where was this when I was in college?

Condoms to Go

As the guy who tweeted this photo said, "As opposed to what?"

(Photo credit: http://img25.yfrog.com/i/condumbs.jpg/)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
5. Want to use those condoms more than once? There's a laundry right next door.

Let's Hope This Isn't the Library of the Jewish Community Center

Really? Nobody noticed this when purchasing this desk unit. Really??

(Photo credit: http://img175.yfrog.com/i/q1fn.jpg/)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
5. I was going to suggest that you come up with a furniture design more offensive than the one above, but you can't.

Ferrari Limo

Maybe if you were really late for the prom.

No wait...it's fashionable to be late. But arriving in a Ferrari limo would be the height of fashion. But it's fast, so you'd arrive too early, which is unfashionable.

Clearly Ferrari limos cause way too many problems to be at all practicable.

(Photo credit: http://img38.yfrog.com/i/4tf.jpg/)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Personally, I'm waiting to make my fashion statement in a SmartCar limo.

Somebody Call Homeland Security!

You might have heard the unsettling news today about Northwest Airlines Flight NWA188. The plane lost contact with ground controllers for over an hour and strayed way past its destination airport (Minneapolis) before turning around and heading back.

But apparently that was not the most frightening part of the incident. Observe this map:

Apparently Flight NWA188 STRAYED INTO SOVEREIGN USA TERRITORY during its wayward journey!! Was Homeland Security alerted? Were jets scrambled? Was our nation's cheese supply in jeopardy at any point?

Somehow I feel a little less safe tonight.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Wake Up? Pilots Miss Airport by 150 Miles (abcnews.go.com)
• Northwest pilots fly plane miles past airport where plane was supposed to land (gadling.com)
• Northwest's Wayward Flight: Did the Pilots Fall Asleep? (time.com)

Vampires Rejoice! Blood Now Comes in Flavors

Image by photoscott via Flickr

When I was this kid the cereal section at the grocery store was maybe about ten feet of one aisle. You had your flakes, your puffs, and a few shredded thingies, and you were done.

Now of course the cereal variations take up about half the average store. Well, they would, but probably because of cereal variety inflation, grocery stores are now the size of military supply depots.

The thing is, cereal brands have realized that in order to keep growing sales you have to keep offering consumers an ever-growing variety of cereal flavors. First they just sugar-coated everything, but that got old. Then all sorts of artificial fruits and berries were added. (Which can lead to litigation; see Crunchberry lawsuit.)

So yay for regular mortal types and their incredibly overwhelming choiceability when it come to breakfast table fare!

But until now the vampire market has been totally overlooked by the Food Industry. Until now.

Up next: Sugar Frosted Blood with Crunchberries.

(Photo credit: http://img18.yfrog.com/i/yfi.jpg/)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. What is that brown stain on the ceiling tile right over your head? What is it really?

Haunted Travel Poster

Aaaaaiiieeeh!!!!! Aieeeeehhhh!!!!

Don't turn around Travel Poster Lady! Don't turn around!!

There's a g-g-g-ghost--oh, it's too HORRIBLE to say!

Thank God you are a cardboard cutout and so can't be as terrified as we are!

(Photo credit: @misterwallace http://img97.yfrog.com/i/9z1.jpg/)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Take your handheld camcorder and stand in front of the window of your local travel agency, ready to film if a haunted travel poster suddenly appears. You may have the next Blair Witch Project.

Awkward Picture Frame Stock Photo

You know how when you buy picture frames they usually come with some generic stock photo so you can imagine how the frame will look with your favorite family portrait? Or perhaps you leave that photo in because the generic stock photo family looks better than yours. In any case, those photos are usually anything but creepy.

But not always.

Witness the photo in this frame-for-sale at a copy center, captured on the camera phone of alert PublicLens reader @jeremycasella:

Have you captured an awkward, bizarre, or befuddling moment with your camera phone? Submit it to publiclens.mail AT gmail DOT com. If we use it, we will give you full credit, including links back to any of your sites you choose.

For the Love of God! What a Sense of Humor FAIL

By now many of you know about the humorous infinitely recursive loop that occurred in the last 24 hours on Twitter involving the phrase "No God."

Seems some celebrity Twittster asked his followers to RT (retweet) the bumper sticker saw "No God No Peace / Know God Know Peace." Except what was intended as a Yay God! tweet backfired when it resulted in "No God" becoming a Twitter trending topic.

The fun began when various religious types began frantically tweeting to their friends "Stop the No God Twitter trend. Do not RT "No God" tweets!" .... which of course only added to the trend.

So today I posted what I thought was a fun little jokey tweet about this minor exercise in unintended self-perpetuation:

"Stop the No God top trend! Don't tweet No God! Please retweet this."

Several people got it and gleefully RTed it, many appending LMAO or its equivalent.

Until @Nitroslippers.

"You realize by saying "No God" your contributing. So by retweeting yourselves you keep perpetuating the Trend."

No, really? OMG how could I have not seen that!?! This is what I love about Twitter, so many helpful people just ready to explain the obvious to perfect strangers.

Of course, @Nitroslippers (where do you buy nitroslippers, btw, I want me some!) was truly concerned that someone as clueless as your host might not have understood his philosophically dense first tweet, so two minutes later:

"..And you wonder why people keep say Christians are morons. Is it sinking in yet, fellas?"

...obviously anticipating that after his first message all I could do was sit around confounded by why people call Christians morons. Or why someone on Twitter who doesn't know me assumes that I am a Christian. Maybe I'm just a moron. Or a Mormon maybe even.

I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.

UPDATE!!

A check of @Nitroslippers' Twitter stream shows that he has deleted the Tweets I posted above. I think he may have felt led by the Lord to do so.

However, he did leave in place this little gem:

"I'm following this "No God" trending topic, and I've notice that God fearing people have real bad grammar. Theres more then one book to read"

Well, at least in his second tweet above he knew the difference between "your" and "you're." Oh....wait....

Artsy Cake Makes an Impression(ism)

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,

How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

"Vincent" - Don McLean

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Make a cake resembling Michelangelo's "Creation." Hang it upside down from the ceiling. Run for cover.

Ingenious But Simple Anti-Pollution Device

What with Global Warming and all, emissions from automobiles are a big concern, nearly as large as flatulent cows.

This guy, though, is sure to pass even California's strict standards. And far better than any catalytic converter--his device leaves the environment smelling piney fresh!


(Photo source)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Do your part to improve the environment. Always keep your dirty underwear in a sealed clothes hamper.

Google Earth...Circa 1657

Click image for full size

Ah the early days of the World Wide Web. WebCrawler was the #1 search engine. McDonalds, Pepsi and Coke were all early adopters, with sites that went nowhere and did nothing. Blog was a monster in a low-budget movie.

No wait. Apparently those were all late-comers.

Above you see Google's earliest experiment with providing a business guide superimposed on a realistic view of the region being searched. It's just as well that modems were slower back then. Each "hilltop view" had to be hand etched with quill on parchment when the request hit the Google servers.

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Leave a comment chastising the author for thinking that writing with a quill on parchment is "etching."

Church Sign: No Sumo Wrestling Today

No caption needed....or even possible.

(Photo credit: @albertmohler)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Don't let the Presbyterians have all the fun. Start sumo worship in your house of worship this week.

Everything I Know About American History I Learned at the Mall

Our local shopping mall was carefully crafted to recreate a typical 19th century "Main Street USA" that you would have typically found in any "Our Town USA" anywhere in the "Good Ol' USA" of that time.

Being an astute and careful student of history, I decided to avail myself of this unique opportunity to study the past of "Our Great Land*" up close and personal. Oh, sorry, I meant "Up Close and Personal."

After a relaxing afternoon of strolling through this meticulous recreation of a bygone day in the life of "Our Noble Experiment*,"  I was able to form several firm conclusions about life in 19th Century "Our Shining Land*."

1. Paint of that time was of very poor quality; advertisements painted on buildings looked instantly faded
2. Victorian Americans wore lots of clothes because they were afraid of the weather. I deduced this from the fact that they built transparent domed ceilings over their city streets.
3. 19th century American towns had police forces, but they were not highly trained and often overweight.
4. America in those days had much stricter zoning laws than we do today. All the eating establishments were confined to one part of town.
5. Victorian streets were terrorized by large bands of very loud teenagers.
6. I was at a bit of a loss to interpret what the numerous kiosks hawking cell phones represented. My theory is that in early small town America, they probably sold wire and telegraph poles.

This has been such an enjoyable way to learn history. Next week I want to learn more about the Middle Ages. I've booked a table at Medieval Times.

*It just occurred to me that I'm channeling titles of elementary school history textbooks of my childhood. One more evidence that I am an eminently qualified historan.

This Is the Way We Roll...Or Not

T

You know those Demotivation posters, the ones from Despair.comhttp://despair.com/? I keep thinking this photo would make a good one.

"PREDESTINATION: Someone had to be the last one. Looks like it was the person before you."

"PREPAREDNESS: Always, always, check that the roll is full before you sit down."

"RESOURCEFULNESS: Toilet paper has only been around since the sixth century. What did people do before then?"

Have another Demotivational caption? Leave it in the comments!

(Image source)

Recommended Site: Jackassletters.com

A lot of people can post funny pictures and write amusing captions like I do here. Only a rare few come up with a theme for a humor blog that is both original and captivating.

I've just run across a site that definitely fits that latter category: jackassletters.com.

The premise is simple, but brilliantly executed. Jackassletters writes complaint or suggestion letters to established big companies, like Cracker Barrel and Toys 'R' Us. The letters are always teetering on the edge of over the top, but never quite step over to be obvious hoaxes.

The fun comes when the companies reply. Some are predictably form letters, and the humor comes from how wide they miss the mark of whatever was requested. Some are sincere but bumbling or baffling attempts to answer the query. And occasionally, there is a response that reflects a company that is truly committed to engaging with its customers, no matter how weird they may come across.

Aside from the humor of all this, anyone who works in or is interested in the field of public and consumer relations could learn a lot by browsing jackassletters.com.

Mad Cow? It's a Riot!

Today's picture is from and in honor of the brand new blog from the folks at Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me, the best thing to happen to radio since the doctor said to Mrs. Marconi, "Si tratta di un ragazzo!" 

The actual story here is a protest by European dairy farmers over falling milk prices. One shudders to think what might have happened to those police if they had not had riot shields! As the caption at the Wait Wait blog points out, what if one of them had been lactose intolerant?

(Photo credit: Georges Gobet / AFP/Getty)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Call NPR newcaster Carl Kasell and tell him he's won your voice on his home answering machine.

Let Me Try to Make This As Simple as Possible

And if referring to the Up and Down buttons as "No. 1" and "No. 2" doesn't help you, perhaps if we called one "peepee" and the other "poopy"?

(Photo credit: @Jchawes)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed!
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader!
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again!
5. Research all the SFW alternative names for No. 1 and No. 2 and post them in the comments section here.

Miracles Just Aren't Worth What They Use to Be

"Used burning bush: 40% Off Original Price! Only used on sabbaths by one God. Mint condition -- hardly singed."

Photo credit: @linc4justice from his blog: The Habitation of Justice.

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Find me the missing audio to Freaks and Geeks episode 4 part 4 on YouTube and bring it to me, along with the broom of the Wicked Witch of the West.

Because Even Vampires Need a Buzz Now and Then

Every bar in the world should stock this.

Why? OK, Mr. Bar Owner, how many of your patrons last night were vampires?

Are you sure? Are you really sure? 

 We're just talking basic proactive safety measures here. Patrons who get bitten on the neck and subsequently become undead don't have a tendency of becoming repeat customers.

Image by lism. via Flickr

So the next time some wispy, emo-haired, doe-eyed young dude with incisors that Billy Mays would have sold on late night TV as "better than Ginsu knives!" shows up at your bar, you serve him up one of these.

And if you never get a vampire customer....you could always serve it to your white supremacist clientele.

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Jump down, turn around, pick a bale of cotton. LiveJournal the experience.

PublicLens Proverbs #2 (Adventures in Internet Marketing)

The other day I posted PublicLens Proverbs #1, a brief collection of my riffing off the stream of inane proverbs and aphorisms being posted on Twitter by an "Internet Marketing Guru" robot account following @publiclens.

It was so much fun coming up with those, I've kept it up, now tagging all my remixed proverbs with #pubprov. Here's a realtime compilation of those, culled from Friendfeed. Since Friendfeed allows embedding a realtime search, if you come back to this post later there should be new ones at the top of the stream.

If you spot any inane proverbs on Twitter and would like to have a go at adding the unspoken second line as I have, leave them in the comments.

Tired of That Screaming Infant? Park It!

How much does it cost to get the Infant Parking privilege? I know some parents who would gladly pay it. Come to think of it, I've been in stores where I'd pay someone to park their infant.

(Photo credit: @linc4justice http://www.habitationofjustice.com/ <~~ Habitation of Justice is a very funny site. We recommend it!)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Find a PublicLens post where you don't like the picture? Get a black Magic Marker and color over it. There!

The PublicLens Proverbs #1

So I've got this follower on Twitter, and I know she's an Internet Marketing Guru Genius®. How do I know this? Because I've read a good deal of the stuff they sell to each other ("Make $3500 a day just tweeting the Gettysburg Address!!").

One of the "Hot Exclusive Tips!!!" these marketers pay each other buttloads of money for is that you have to appear "real" on Twitter. Emphasis on the appear part. You don't have to be real (i.e., actually interact with people). You just need to appear that you are.

A consistently recommended method for appearing "real" without the effort it takes if you actually are real is to mine online listings of famous quotations and cutesy aphorisms and tweet them in between your "U WON'T BELIEVE HOW EZ IT IS TO GAIN 30000 FOLLOWERS IN JUST 2 WEEKS!!!" tweets.

So that's how I know this follower of mine is one of "them." She has a consistent dance step on Twitter: three folksy aphorisms and then a "U WON'T BELIEVE...." tweet.

That and the fact that I've been making fun of her all day and she's never responded or unfollowed. That's because she never reads anything responding to her.

So what kind of fun have I been having? I've been retweeting most of her little sayings, adding on a little commentary of my own. I enjoy "riffing" off of others material, and here was a perfect opporunity to hone my craft. In the list below, her tweets (with her username blocked out) are first, followed by my added comments in bold yellow. Enjoy!

RT @*****: Opportunity dances w/ those ready on the dance floor. // For me Opportunity sprained its ankle & went home early

RT @*****: Nothing focuses the mind better than the sight of a competitor who wants 2 wipe U off the map.// Umm, a charging rhino?

RT @*****: A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. // I would worry about the effects of opportunity inflation.

RT @*****: Entrepreneurs are the forgotten heroes of America. // This may be because no one can spell entrepreneurs

RT @*****: He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how. // It's the who, what, & where that might kill you.

RT @*****: Debt is a willing servant but a cruel master. // Debt needs counseling. It sounds schizo.

RT @*****: Knowledge is an antidote to fear. // Unless its knowledge of....ZOMBIES!!

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Foolproof investment scheme: Purchase an Internet Marketer's Guaranteed Twitter Cash Extravaganza Success Program. Wait two weeks, change the title, and offer to sell it to him at 20% over what you paid for it (of course, not mentioning it is exactly the same course). Emphasize that your course contains the very LATEST foolproof techniques. You will be wealthy beyond your dreams.

If Traffic Signs Were Brutally Honest

The world has become a scary place when the voices I hear in my head during my morning commute have also possessed the construction signs.

Photo source: http://twitpic.com/17c6f

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Shake it like a Polaroid. Then shake it like a Kodachrome. Finally, shake it like Fujifilm 400 Speed 25 Exposure APS Film. Compare and discuss.

Google Street View Reveals LOTR Battle Location

 Who knew? Looks like the location of the Battle of Helms Deep has been captured by the roving Google Street View cameras. (Click pic for full-size view.) Turns out it was at 8 Sampsonia Way, Pittsburgh, PA. Now we know the secret behind the Steelers awesome defensive line back in the day: Orcs.

(HT for link to @WhatChrisLikes)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Enter your address in Google Maps and select Street View. Go outside, run around your front yard, then run back inside and see if you're still in the view.

How to Be Outstanding in Your Class

Knowing that the tight job market would soon be flooded with thousands of recent graduates, Denise did everything she could think of to be outstanding among her peers.

(Picture source)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Ponder this: What possessed Eli Whitney to think he could make gin out of cotton?

If the Simpson's Springfield Police Department Were Real

This just might be Chief Wiggum's idea of heaven.

Location, location, location they say in real estate. The Massachusetts State Police obviously have a top-notch real estate agent.

(Picture originally posted at funniest-videos.net)

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Print out a random picture of a cat and write $500 REWARD! across the top and nothing else. Make hundreds of copies and post them all over your town.

So How Do You Know Which Beach Umbrellas Are the Ones That Can Kill You?

Public lens is mostly about the bizarre and the befuddling, but every so often we like to do the beautiful. Today is the Sabbath Day so we thought we'd start off with beautiful. Of course, Sunday has only been the sabbath since the early Christian era; before that it was Saturday. Even God gets bored of the same old same old.

In fact, we've come to the conclusion that in 2012 when the Mayan calendar runs out, it won't be the end of the world. What will happen is God will shift the Sabbath to Monday.

Oh, the picture? Yeesh, almost forgot there was a picture up there. It's from our long-time Internet friend and aspiring photographer, @joshbobbitt. Click it to go to the original on Twitpic. We think it's of beach umbrellas in a jungle somewhere, but we're not sure.

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Google the word 'recursive' and see what Google asks that you might have meant.

Defensive Driving = Always Be Aware of Hidden Hazzards

Thanks for the warning! Phew!

Have a better caption? The comments await you!

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!
1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Hide under your desk for several minutes. Slowly...ever so slowly...peek above the edge. OH MY GOD THE PICTURE IS STILL THERE IT'S STILL THERE AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

World War II Explained in One Picture

OK, so this isn't a phone cam photo. What if I told you I posted this from my phone after I took a photograph of the poster with my phone? Up to you if you want to believe a man who lives inside a cell phone costume.

I posted this because sheer comic genius trumps cell phone cam purity every time. It's true. It's in the list of humor hierarchy on Wikepedia.

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!
1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Call your mother and describe every post on PublicLens to her over the phone. She'll just be glad you called.

Hellooooooo Kitty!

Impossible to use a computer with a cat around. They're always wanting to lie across your keyboard.

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES!!!
1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Print out this post and fold it into one of those triangle desktop footballs and relive the glory that was ninth grade.

Take That, Pink Floyd!

Flying inflated pigs are so 1977.  Proving that they are indeed the all-time, undisputed, without-a-peer, most-pretentious-band-from-a-country-that-speaks-English-with-an-accent, U2 is currently touring with a giant four-legged pink crab. Rumor has it that Bono upon returning to the UK, Bono will attempt to fly the crab over Battlesea Power Station, provided he can get a release signed by Charles Widmore.

A Brass Figlagee with Bronze Oak-Leaf Palm will be awarded to the first faithful reader leaving a comment correctly explaining why Charles Widmore was included in the above chain of pop culture references. [UPDATE: That one has been solved; see Clare's comment below. But what about...] And excelsior to anyone who knows about brass figlagees!

(Photo by Samuel Sutter [source])

If you like what you see on PublicLens...or even if you don't but want to show everyone what's put you in such a bad mood...click that Share This button below and, well, "share this."

Diaper Food: It's Not Just for Desert Anymore

Yesterday we broke the alarming (to us) news that people were creating cakes out of diapers. We were quickly informed by our female-type friends on Facebook that not only were such unthinkable creations common, they are beloved by said female types. Our ignorance of this phenomenon had the odd result of making us feel more manly than we had since that time we blew up an entire Lego city in our friend's back yard invaded Poland.

Now alert PublicLens reader Cayce has informed us that when it comes to culinary innovation, diapers are the chief ingredient.

Ladies and gentlemen, we give you (click "Read more"):

Hell: Fire and Brimstone? No. It Will Be This in Your Face for All Eternity

Horror movies? Sort of creepy.

Being stalked by a Walmart greeter? Creepier.

But creepy never got truly creepy until this.

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click "Share This" button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Have you thought of something creepier than that website yet? Stop trying. You never will.

Diaper Cake - Just Needs Some Chocolate....ewww!!!

Real cake is fattening. For your next major event, love your guests and serve diaper cake. Now let's see, if we're using diapers for the cake, what would be appropriate to represent chocolate icing? Let's not even think about the punch to go with it. Nope. Won't go there.

If you like what you see on PublicLens...or even if you don't but want to show everyone what's put you in such a bad mood...click that Share This button below and, well, "share this."

Tajik Jimmy: The New Susan Boyle?

Move over Susan Boyle. "Tajik Jimmy" didn't need Simon Cowle's approval to become Internet famous.

Baimurat Allaberiyev, a diminutive native of Tajikistan who has herded sheep, picked cotton and toiled in construction, hardly looks like Russia's latest musical sensation.

But Allaberiyev has remarkable talent sets him apart from the millions of Central Asians who come to Russia to escape crushing poverty at home.

A musical prodigy, he can perform Bollywood show-stoppers as a one-man band, equipped with nothing but an uncanny falsetto and a metal bucket.

That -- and the miraculous star-making powers of the Internet -- have turned this 37-year-old into a cult celebrity here.

Allaberiyev won fame after shaky videos shot with mobile phones surfaced on the Internet that showed him performing songs like "Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy Aaja" from the 1983 Bollywood classic "Disco Dancer".

Set against grim backdrops like a construction site or a storeroom full of boxes, the videos became a viral sensation. They have now been viewed more than 400,000 times on YouTube, the movie-sharing website.

Read the rest of this remarkable story.

Like what you see at PublicLens? Help a fella out and click that Share This button below and let your friends in on the fun. Coolness by association is the best most of us can ever hope for in this life.

Homeland Security

Well, it just makes sense, doesn't it? If a scarecrow can keep pesky birds out of a farm field, surely a mannequin with a machine gun can ward off pesky terrorists. Although, I think the red mask might do that all by itself.

Like what you see at PublicLens? Help a fella out and click that Share This button below and let your friends in on the fun. Coolness by association is the best most of us can ever hope for in this life.

(HT for photo to @jimgaffigan http://twitpic.com/irhkq)