The PublicLens Proverbs #1

So I've got this follower on Twitter, and I know she's an Internet Marketing Guru Genius®. How do I know this? Because I've read a good deal of the stuff they sell to each other ("Make $3500 a day just tweeting the Gettysburg Address!!").

One of the "Hot Exclusive Tips!!!" these marketers pay each other buttloads of money for is that you have to appear "real" on Twitter. Emphasis on the appear part. You don't have to be real (i.e., actually interact with people). You just need to appear that you are.

A consistently recommended method for appearing "real" without the effort it takes if you actually are real is to mine online listings of famous quotations and cutesy aphorisms and tweet them in between your "U WON'T BELIEVE HOW EZ IT IS TO GAIN 30000 FOLLOWERS IN JUST 2 WEEKS!!!" tweets.

So that's how I know this follower of mine is one of "them." She has a consistent dance step on Twitter: three folksy aphorisms and then a "U WON'T BELIEVE...." tweet.

That and the fact that I've been making fun of her all day and she's never responded or unfollowed. That's because she never reads anything responding to her.

So what kind of fun have I been having? I've been retweeting most of her little sayings, adding on a little commentary of my own. I enjoy "riffing" off of others material, and here was a perfect opporunity to hone my craft. In the list below, her tweets (with her username blocked out) are first, followed by my added comments in bold yellow. Enjoy!

RT @*****: Opportunity dances w/ those ready on the dance floor. // For me Opportunity sprained its ankle & went home early

RT @*****: Nothing focuses the mind better than the sight of a competitor who wants 2 wipe U off the map.// Umm, a charging rhino?

RT @*****: A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. // I would worry about the effects of opportunity inflation.

RT @*****: Entrepreneurs are the forgotten heroes of America. // This may be because no one can spell entrepreneurs

RT @*****: He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how. // It's the who, what, & where that might kill you.

RT @*****: Debt is a willing servant but a cruel master. // Debt needs counseling. It sounds schizo.

RT @*****: Knowledge is an antidote to fear. // Unless its knowledge of....ZOMBIES!!

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FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
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4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Foolproof investment scheme: Purchase an Internet Marketer's Guaranteed Twitter Cash Extravaganza Success Program. Wait two weeks, change the title, and offer to sell it to him at 20% over what you paid for it (of course, not mentioning it is exactly the same course). Emphasize that your course contains the very LATEST foolproof techniques. You will be wealthy beyond your dreams.