Vampires Rejoice! Blood Now Comes in Flavors

Image by photoscott via Flickr

When I was this kid the cereal section at the grocery store was maybe about ten feet of one aisle. You had your flakes, your puffs, and a few shredded thingies, and you were done.

Now of course the cereal variations take up about half the average store. Well, they would, but probably because of cereal variety inflation, grocery stores are now the size of military supply depots.

The thing is, cereal brands have realized that in order to keep growing sales you have to keep offering consumers an ever-growing variety of cereal flavors. First they just sugar-coated everything, but that got old. Then all sorts of artificial fruits and berries were added. (Which can lead to litigation; see Crunchberry lawsuit.)

So yay for regular mortal types and their incredibly overwhelming choiceability when it come to breakfast table fare!

But until now the vampire market has been totally overlooked by the Food Industry. Until now.

Up next: Sugar Frosted Blood with Crunchberries.

(Photo credit: http://img18.yfrog.com/i/yfi.jpg/)

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Because Even Vampires Need a Buzz Now and Then

Every bar in the world should stock this.

Why? OK, Mr. Bar Owner, how many of your patrons last night were vampires?

Are you sure? Are you really sure? 

 We're just talking basic proactive safety measures here. Patrons who get bitten on the neck and subsequently become undead don't have a tendency of becoming repeat customers.

Image by lism. via Flickr

So the next time some wispy, emo-haired, doe-eyed young dude with incisors that Billy Mays would have sold on late night TV as "better than Ginsu knives!" shows up at your bar, you serve him up one of these.

And if you never get a vampire customer....you could always serve it to your white supremacist clientele.

¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶   ¶

FUN INTERACTIVE ACTIVITIES to REINFORCE this LESSON!!!

1. Click Share This button below and send this post to your friends!
2. Go to the Fan Box in the sidebar and follow PublicLens on Facebook, Twitter, or Friendfeed
3. Right below the Fan Box, subscribe to PublicLens in your favorite Feed Reader.
4. Leave a comment with a better caption than ours. Then go get your own humor blog and never come here again.
4. Jump down, turn around, pick a bale of cotton. LiveJournal the experience.